Before having Lawson, I remember asking a bunch of people when I would start to feel ‘normal’ again after giving birth. The answers varied, some said 10 weeks, some said 9 months, some said one year. For me, it’s taken up until now.
For the longest time, I have been in what I can only describe as a ‘mummy bubble’, where everything is slightly more magical than normal, slightly more stressful than normal, slightly less normal than normal. You don’t really notice it, it kinda just happens; it’s only when you start to feel more like your ‘old self’ (who even is that?!!) that you realise how different it feels.
Physically, I think I was healing from the birth itself for about 10 weeks. It took that long for my wounds to heal, for me to feel less exhausted (marginally), for me to feel like I wanted to be active again.
Emotionally, it’s been much, much longer.
Not gonna lie here, this first year of Lawson’s life has been INSANE. Literally I don’t think anything could have prepared me for it! Don’t get me wrong, it’s been absolutely incredible, the best year of my life, but boy has it been hard! I have learned so much about myself, and I’m bloody proud to be honest.
Saying that, in the past month or so, I’ve really noticed that Lawson has become less ‘baby’ and more ‘boy’, and to tell you the truth it’s been freaking me out. I went through a phase of almost mourning the fact that life was returning to some kind of normality again, and that my baby wasn’t really a squishy baby anymore. I became pretty obsessed with the idea of having another one straight away, I think just so I could stay in my magic bubble.
I don’t know how to explain how I’ve turned this around and actually started enjoying ‘normal’ again, it’s crept up on me. I notice that I’m feeling more relaxed, less pressured, less stressed, and I’m starting to have a laugh again and enjoy myself! I feel like Hayley again! Pretty much…
Weight has had a lot to do with this too I think. I’ve lost a stone so far, and still have a stone to lose, but that first stone has made so much difference to my confidence. I feel great!
I just wanted to write this post to document really how long it has taken me to feel back to some kind of normal. I have LOVED living in my little mummy bubble and living life in a baby daze, but boy does it feel good to feel like myself again!
I’d love to hear your experiences – how long did it take you to start feeling a bit more like yourself again? Leave me a comment and say hi!