Mum-guilt. We all suffer with it, don’t we? Before having Lawson, I’d always heard people talk about it, but little did I know how utterly crippling it can be. It’s taken 9 months, but I’m pleased to say I’m finally waving goodbye to my mummy guilt, and here’s why you should too:
IT DOESN’T ACTUALLY ACHIEVE ANYTHING
I’ve learned that mum guilt and worry are closely related. I love that phrase, ‘what is achieved by worrying?’ The answer is NOTHING! It just makes us totally miserable, and I believe mum guilt is the same deal. Feeling guilty about something we should or shouldn’t have done with our children doesn’t actually achieve anything; 9 times out of 10 I don’t find myself doing something to rectify what I’m feeling guilty about, so what’s the point in dwelling about it?
I’ll give you an example here. For the past 3 or 4 months I have been feeling SUPER mum guilt about the way I’ve been weaning Lawson. First of all, I started weaning him at 5 and a half months, which is against NHS guidelines. So I felt guilty. But did I stop weaning him? No! So what was the point in feeling guilty?! I knew he was ready. The weaning guilt and irrational thinking kind of just snowballed from there…
‘I’m doing spoon-fed weaning, Lawson isn’t going to learn how to chew!’
‘I’m not letting Lawson be very messy with his food, he’s going to end up having issues with mess!’
‘I’m not making him enough purees’
‘I’m feeding him too many pouches’
‘He’s not getting enough fruit and veg’
The list is ENDLESS. The guilt that has surrounded me throughout Lawson’s weaning has been ridiculous, and it’s really taken the enjoyment out of the experience. So I’m saying NO MORE. We’ve got to a stage now where Lawson is a really good eater, he can chew really well, and most of the time he can eat what we’re eating. If he’s not eating what we’re eating, he’ll have a pouch. And that’s how we’re doing it! I’ve let go of the guilt about being a ‘pouch mum’ – I’m all about taking steps to make myself less stressed so that I can be the best possible mum to Lawson, and this has been one of them.
OWN YOUR DECISIONS. You know your child best. No one knows them better than you, so make your decisions, and OWN them! Don’t compare yourselves to other mums. This needs a whole other blog post entirely!
So I want to encourage you today, in fact, I implore you – let go of the mum guilt! We all make mistakes, heck, our parents made mistakes, and we turned out OK! Own the decisions you make about your kids, have faith that YOU know them the best and that you’re making those decisions out of love. Don’t waste any more of your precious time worrying and feeling guilty over something you can’t/don’t want to change.